It helps me to imagine that I am telling my stories to someone. Usually it’s a vague presence, no one specific, but a bunch of women like my comfy old high school or college friends who I imagine are probably going through the same stuff I am. In a way, they are versions of myself.

When I write journal or diary stuff, that is, when I write just for me, I tend to get too … what? … mushy? whiney? angry? judgmental?

I appreciate all the insights shared here! Looking forward to reading more.

My sorta-kinda memoir is the narrative part of a non-fiction work, providing counterpoint to other themes braided throughout. I started out trying for an objective, third-person approach sprinkled with first-person recollections. But it really came alive when I made the whole thing much more personal.

Early on, I showed the first 500 words (of 9,000) to a trusted advisor (not a cheerleader) and I workshopped the first half of the essay in a creative-writing group, for great feedback. Ultimately, the decisions are mine. Couldn’t agree more with the advice not to show it to friends or family. Mine’s simply a memory, not a traumatic work-through, but still… too much advice can prevent you from hearing your own voice.

Thanks – great post.

I am writing a travel memoir that has a very specific beginning and end. In some ways this has made the structure of my manuscript easier to determine. However, the greater difficulty is deciding how much of my life outside this limited experience, that directly and indirectly shaped my decision to embark on the journey, to include. The first question I had to answer was who I was writing the story for. Of course, for myself is the most obvious answer. However, it wasn’t until I decided to write to publish that I could clearly see the structure. I am still facing many difficulties shaping what is most relevant to the wider audience, but I hope this will take care of itself in the critiquing and revision phase.

The inner critic resonated well with me as it is difficult to determine if what we write is any good at all, especially when it is your first book attempt. As for the outer critics, I think it is better to let them judge the manuscript once it is done. Don’t give them ammunition without having the benefit of the full story, and the lessons it carries with it. Although, in some ways this is easier for me as my journey is not contentious and hardly involves any family members. What may be more shocking is how open I will be with my own fears and failings. Sometimes others worry what others might think of us more than we do ourselves.

Keep up the interesting work.

Yes, I think writers of almost any genre go through the same kinds of struggles–with the inner critic, voice, writing skills, and confidence. We need to take good care of the creative spirit within, and try to protect it.

When we keep the work private for a while, esp. in this era of share everything on the social media sites, we honor it and help it to have a life of its own. The work takes on its own wisdom and whispers to us, if we are quiet enough to hear it.

Keep writing!

-Linda Joy

Great post.

GL

The journey of writing always leads us to unexpected places if we allow the story and the journey to guide us. It means having some kind of faith in the process, and a willingness to simply write without a clear goal in the early stages. I always tell my students to place themselves into the scenes that beckon to them, and let the story itself work its magic.

Writing a memoir is both a linear and a non-linear process. We might talk more about that later!

–Linda Joy

I found it to be fun, difficult and highly emotional at times. It seems to be impossible to write about emotional stuff without feeling the pain or joy. Do others find this to be true? It’s probably a good thing–it surely makes for better writing when the emotion is there.

The book is Quest for Truth by Patricia Fry. http://www.matiljapress.com.

Patricia

Thanks for responding to Victoria’s question. Your have confirmed the struggle that I had with my memoir writing. I wrote many small poetic vignettes then wove them together with an interesting story line. Only after working through the “fire in my belly” did I discover my connections and storyline. Which provided the catalyst for even deeper novel than I thought possible with a vast array of emotions and read ability.

Thanks, Lorraine

That’s a great question! Writing vignettes on a blog is a great way to develop your memoir.

First, writing on a blog helps you to focus your ideas and realize that your post needs to read well for your audience. This doesn’t mean that you write a “first draft” for your audience, however. The first ramblings are often needed for us to get a sense of what we want to say. That might be the draft that helps us sort our feelings and memories, and, as you say, tease out the story.

Then, as we return to the piece that we post to the public, we ask: Does the reader see, feel, and experience my world through scene and sensual detail? Have I used dialogue and paid attention to the physical world, even if there is reflection?

Writing vignettes is the method I recommend to all my students. That way you don’t have to know exactly where a book “starts.” You can write from your “fire in the belly”–the emotionally gripping place of your feelings, and know that eventually the timeline and plot of your longer memoir will be developed as you work on it.

In my book, I recommend a turning point and timeline technique, which helps to prioritize and sort out your various life events.

Best wishes for your memoir and your blog!

-Linda

I must say, however, that Charles and Gordon are correct about encountering the fear and solving the meaning life in your memoirs. I spent many lonely and painful hours writing through and blurred and confused thoughts and images. However, I must say the accomplishment was well worth the journey.

I did not share my writings with any one, while in the process. I wanted them to remain whole and unique to me. I wanted to discover what I saw as meaning, Since I could not express those feelings and emotions when I was younger. I wanted to empower my innocence and ignite my imagination. I did not want to be fragmented by the others, in my life, who had hide their own needs and fears. I must say my writing has improved tremendously, as has my confidence. I believe I have something to say and beautiful stories to tell.

Alan, I have just discovered your site. I want to compliment you on your generosity with us writers, that are attempting to find our path to market place and meaning in our many lonely hours.

I find hope and inspiration from your insights and belief. For those of us who remain to true to our voice and re-write and re-write, until our story radiates and begs to be read. Then and only then can we find our way to heart and minds of our audience.

Alan, I love your ability to communicate and your desire to encourage the artistic expression of writing. Thanks for helping me on my sometimes lonely path. I look forward to your blogs and have referred it to others.