Comments on: Hooks that snag great book deals

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Tue, 10 Aug 2010 11:12:21 +0000

[...] Stacey thought it was perfect (and has since submitted it as an example of her favorite recent “hook” on Alan Rinzler’s blog). [...]

By: Garage Capital

Garage Capital — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 06:45:10 +0000

Isn’t there a misplaced modifier in Clinch’s first sentence, arguably, at least?

By: Nick Black

Nick Black — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:09:08 +0000

Nice post. I believe that Clinch has left Kleinman’s agency for Binky Urban at ICM. He’s got a new book coming out this summer.

By: Jennifer B. Fields

Jennifer B. Fields — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 06:19:23 +0000

Whataya’ think of my latest attempt at a hook for my novel “Hibiscus, Believe”?

How many times do you have to get punched in the face before you’ll admit that fairies don’t exist? Frustrated New York City lawyer, Patrick Dorsey had lost count of the blackened eyes and the bruised cheeks he’d endured in his unwavering search for the sultry woman who plagued his dreams each night.

I think that’s about my thousandth draft, but I like this one.

Thanks for the great outlet and a very informative site.

By: Barbara Falconer Newhall

Barbara Falconer Newhall — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 02:57:53 +0000

For Tom Tancin –

How about:

“My name is Trey Atlas. I’m 17 years old. And I never wanted to be a hero.”

I also like Michelle’s,“My name is not Mara Dyer, but my lawyer told me I had to choose something.”

Here’s one of mine:

Peter likes money. He wants an allowance. The subject came up at the breakfast table.

Jon and I debated. Fifty cents a week? 75 cents?

“Let’s not talk in cents,” said Peter, who is 6 1/2, pushing 7. “Let’s talk in dollars.”

By: Kat Sheridan

Kat Sheridan — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 02:42:16 +0000

Oooo, loving all the hooks offered in the article! The one from Lisa Brackmann is fast becoming almost legendary as an amazing hook in a query letter. It always gives me shivers to see it, and to know that because of that great query, the book will be coming out very soon now!

Since everyone else is sharing, here’s the opening pitch in my own query letter:

The past will not stay dead at Tremayne Hall.

When Jessa Palmer journeys to rescue her late half-sister’s daughter from a tyrant of a father, she discovers someone—or something—wants to ensure she is no more successful at escaping the castle on the cliffs than her half-sister, Lily, had been.

Launched on her rescue mission by a mysterious letter, Jessa follows in Lily’s footsteps to a grim castle in the wilds of Cornwall and into the arms of its dark master, Captain Dashiell Tremayne. Bitter, brooding, and tragically scarred, he believes Jessa is a carbon copy of her manipulative, unfaithful half-sister; he’s not about to let another treacherous woman into his home—or into his heart.

When the accidents begin, the danger intensifies, as does the heat between Jessa and Dash; soon, she’ll have to make a choice—follow Lily to a fiery death, or surrender to a man she cannot trust.

By: Buffi Neal

Buffi Neal — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 21:07:20 +0000

Thank you all for sharing your hooks-in-progress. I’m working on one of my own and am stuck between something different and the boring formula. Here is what I have settled on after many revisions.
“Wonderfully Dysfunctional – It Must be Genetic” is the first in a series of memoirs about Buffi Neal, a career woman and single mother of two who joins her four siblings at the bedside of their dying grandmother and begins her journey of self discovery recalling stories of inappropriate practical jokes, abuse, betrayal and juicy family secrets, leading to the realization that her family is far from normal and she is not that different than the woman she wishes would die.

By: Randy Russell

Randy Russell — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:36:19 +0000

Hooks to share.

I used my tagline (it hooked me, after all, into spending months on a first draft) both as a guide for writing the book and as the opening line of my query letter for my debut YA novel (sold to HarperTeen for 2011 release):

“All in one day, 16-year-old Jana Webster lost her boyfriend, started a new school, and died. Not necessarily in that order.”

By: Gary Anderson

Gary Anderson — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:55:42 +0000

Thanks for the post, Alan. As always, great advice. Personally, I have bought books solely on the merits of an impressive first line. Certainly, there is an art to it. God knows I have struggled with first lines in my own writing.

In my experience, some agents and editors advise against dialogue as the opening line of a novel. Although I tend to agree, there are exceptions. This is a favorite of mine from Katherine Dunn’s GEEK LOVE (also a fantastic title).

“When your mamma was the geek, my dreamlets,” Papa would say, “she made the nipping off of noggins such a crystal mystery that the hens themselves yearned toward her, waltzing around her, hypnotized with longing.”

By: Evelina Eriksson

Evelina Eriksson — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 09:24:48 +0000

To day we were given a subjekt in the Swedish class. My class mate looked down at his subject and smiled. the task was to create a good start for a speech. So.. (crapy translated to English=P)

From Oliver: The typical Swede, a middelage man coming home from a normal, boring officjobb. At home his old Golden retriver greets him wellcome. Across the stereet lives an 62 years old lady with three cats. On the gras in his neghbours garden two cildren plays with their fluffy rabits. Is it good to always live in the same traks? NO! I say; free import of exotik animals!

He made it up in less then 5 min =D

And sorry for the bad english